Homeward Bound

I’m linking up today with 5-Minute Friday, hosted by the fabulous Lisa-Jo Baker.  It’s a challenge to write for 5 minutes and 5 minutes only, solely for the sake of writing.  Not for perfection.  Not for impact.  Not for anything but the love of writing.  Today’s prompt?  HOME.

Five Minute Friday

The first time I remember uttering the words was during my freshman year of college.  Through tears and aching sadness, I wept into my pillow: I want to go home.

And then, during study abroad in Spain, over and over again to friends and whoever would listen: I want to go home.

Other times, too:  I don’t want to be here.  Out of town job training.  An extended vacation.  Long visits with faraway family.  I want to go home.

I never thought it was anything but homesickness for a house, that brick ranch-style with the azaleas in the yard and the arching pine trees overhead.  I thought it was a simple longing for that place and my family and the familiarity therein.  When those words came rising up from the core of my soul, I thought I literally just wanted to go back there.  To that house.  To that place.  With those people and those memories and that comfort.

A few years later, in the depths of unexplained sadness, the words came again.  I want to go home.  Only this time, I was home.  I was curled up in the bed I shared with my new husband.  In what should have been a joyous time in my life, I was sad and afraid and panicked.  Though I was in the house I called home…I wanted to go home.

And at that time, I realized that when my mouth said those words, my soul was saying something much more.  Wherever I am as I walk this earth, I am never home.  This is a temporary stopover on an eternal journey.  My heart will never stop weeping those words until I one day stand before my maker.  Then, on that day, the longing will cease and I will at last be home.

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

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