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Jessica Bolyard

Journeying Home Together

For The One Who Feels Alone

September 25, 2020 by Jessica Bolyard 4 Comments

Dear friend, You’re not the only one. For years I was alone. Not alone alone, because I had my husband and family and all…but really, I was alone. My life was defined by feeling alone in a crowded room. Maybe you know the lonely feeling I’m talking about. I’m not entirely sure how it happened for me, but here it is: I used to hate Sunday mornings. That sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it?

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When We Watch Each Other

September 3, 2015 by Jessica Bolyard Leave a Comment

She looked particularly cute that morning – more grown up somehow than the day before, even – and I wanted a quick picture before we got into the car to head to school. As she leaned over on the kitchen counter to begrudgingly humor my request, she smiled her new bashful, smirky smile she’s been smiling for the past week….ever since her top front tooth fell out. I took the picture,

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What It Means To Follow

October 1, 2014 by Jessica Bolyard 1 Comment

I can’t do this on my own strength, and when I try, it is disastrous. Anger and harsh words and unloving attitudes and slammed doors. I lose my temper and I lose her heart and I lose my bearings on this whole Christ-centered life. I can’t do this on my own because these are situations I’ve never faced before. I can’t do this on my own because I don’t know what’s going on in her heart. I can’t do this on my own because my fuse is too short and my expectations are too high. I can’t do this on my own because when I try, I get too angry too quickly and everything is catastrophic. In my hands, things fall apart. In His hands, everything comes together.

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Every Good Thing

August 13, 2014 by Jessica Bolyard 8 Comments

It was supposed to be our errand-running day before she started school. We had places to go and things to do, and I had planned on taking full advantage of the entire day by leaving the house early to get everything done. The night before, I had laid out a detailed agenda for the day  – which stores we needed to go to, which coupons would be for which stores,

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When It’s Time to Let Go and Move On

May 14, 2014 by Jessica Bolyard Leave a Comment

After forty days Noah opened a window he had made in the ark and sent out a raven, and it kept flying back and forth until the water had dried up from the earth. Then he sent out a dove to see if the water had receded from the surface of the ground. But the dove could find nowhere to perch because there was water over all the surface of

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Detritus

March 13, 2014 by Jessica Bolyard 6 Comments

Our region of the country suffered the worst ice storm in years just last month. The disarmingly beautiful ice sheaths encased everything that stood still, creating a wonderland reminiscent of something created in the Disney studios. Unfortunately, as we have learned anew and will not soon forget, ice is heavy, and trees and power lines are not meant to support that kind of weight. For days, crashes and cracks echoed

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A Treacherous Idol

March 5, 2014 by Jessica Bolyard 11 Comments

I loved my fourth grade teacher. Mrs. Harris was funny and kind and so smart. She was tall and beautiful and always wore trendy clothes – always looked, to me, more like a model than the teacher of multiplication tables and the scientific method. So when word got back to me that Mrs. Harris had said that I “always look(ed) so nice,” I was over the moon. You see, my

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Outside the Grief Bubble

January 22, 2014 by Jessica Bolyard Leave a Comment

As I walked the aisles of the grocery store yesterday, trying to restock our pitiful pantry, I couldn’t hold back the stray tears that kept sneaking out. Here and there, with no apparent triggers, I would suddenly need to cry and, because people just don’t *do* that in Wal-Mart, I would quickly turn away from other shoppers and wipe my eyes. This morning, as I watched my daughter bound onto

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An Influential Weight

January 16, 2014 by Jessica Bolyard 4 Comments

She watched my struggle, and as I put the last of our things into the car she finally asked what she must have been wondering for awhile. “The Lord did that to you, didn’t He, Mama?” And if I could have, I would have spun around and embraced her as I corrected her. But I couldn’t spin or bend down with the neck brace on and my back throbbing the

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The Meaning in the Mess

December 4, 2013 by Jessica Bolyard 4 Comments

We decorated our house for Christmas yesterday. On one hand, I was ready. Seeing everyone else’s decorations and lights and trees caused some holiday-induced envy, and it was time, after all. Christmas is just a few weeks away. If I had really been in control of things, though, it wouldn’t have happened quite yet….or at least not in quite the same way. You see, our house is still in disrepair

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A Letter to 2020

Dear 2020,  I think I’m over you. I don’t think I’m telling you anything you don’t know; I also don’t think you can pretend that our relationship has been a healthy one. I’m just ready to move on from all that you’ve put me through. It’s time. I can’t take it anymore, and I have to believe that something better is coming, and soon. I have to move on and

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All content ©Jessica Bolyard, 2011-2020. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that clear and full credit is given to the author, and appropriate and specific direction is given to the original content. In other words, be kind. We're in this together.

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